“Some things are better left unsaid” or “said”… but not out loud… or maybe not directly… for those in the Middle East. Ah the listening, watching and observing for what is REALLY being said. But this idea makes me wonder, is it divine providence that I grew up in the Midwest, and I made my way to the Middle East?
So I haven’t talked about it on here yet, but I am studying crisis counseling. Within my Crisis counseling studies I am taking a class on Cross-Cultural counseling. During said class reading I came across a “high context” and “low context” cultures discussion. Okay so here is the breakdown.
High context cultures are those who actually say 70 things, but expect you to understand 100 ( ie Asian cultures, Middle Eastern cultures most non western thinking cultures)
Low context culture is when you say 150 things to get the point of 100 across (ie Americans and most western cultures).
And here’s where my mind went to thinking. I am an American woman from the Midwest, South Dakota to be exact (east river- to be even more exact for my SD natives). My mind began running as I have been told that I flow easily with other cultures and was confused as to why, since South Dakota isn’t really known for being a home to many differing people…
then it popped into my head…. “MIDWEST NICE.”
For those of you not from the Midwest or those who have completely avoided the middle of your own country here is the definition of “Midwest nice” (also know pretty commonly as “Minnesota nice” –though I don’t think the Minnesotans solely can claim this—Sorry my Minnesotan friends)
Midwest nice:
I will refer to this quote which I found on a website from a Midwestern girl that sums it up pretty well :
“In fact, people from outside the Plains think they can mimic us by elongating some O’s, but in truth we communicate far more in what we half-say, or fail to say entirely. To live in the Midwest is to experience two realities: the first, all sunshine and bland pleasantries among other potluck-suppering churchgoers; the other, a red-lit underworld where people relay vulgarities through the learned second language of euphemism, eye rolls and loaded silence.”
https://www.thrillist.com/lifestyle/nation/my-life-living-midwestern-nice
In other words we have become close to experts at saying something without really saying anything. I say close to experts because now I live in the Middle East, and I will gladly hand that trophy over, with a bow, to the real experts.
This is not meant to be offensive, in fact most often it’s nice. When my Middle Eastern friends actually notice that something wrong without me saying a word. Comforting really, to feel understood or at least that someone is watching out for you. Though, I will say that I think that my Midwestern upbringing has trained my eyes and ears to, not just hearing what is said but, taking in context also (ie body language, tone, setting).
In thinking some of this through I asked a few others who were from states that would be included in this “Midwest nice” land, and have gotten a couple of “yeah probably some” and from a friend from Iowa a resounding agreement that growing up in the Midwest was incredibly helpful.
So are you from the Midwest? Thinking about traveling to the Middle East? As the Arabs would say, “Yalla” come on!
You won’t feel alone here, there are a lot of us Midwesterners here in the Middle East… Something about it… yaknow just feels like home.
Are you from the Midwest? Feel free to comment and let me know what you think!
For your enjoyment here are some clips from the movie Fargo that have some great quotes that perfectly illustrate “Midwest nice”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sb814rfwOOE — at 2:10 is the quote that sums it up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n3k0gqtYgM — The whole thing is pretty Midwestern but the last thirty seconds are the real kicker.
Wandering in the Middle East 